I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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