fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
