Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
