Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize