in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
