Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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