I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
