There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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