my mouth tastes like poor choices
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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