Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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