official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
how drunk are you?
Several
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
