He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
