...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
