Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
