Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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