I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
