i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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