You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
