If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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