i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
