I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
