"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize