i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
