I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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