Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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