The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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