I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
