on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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