Do you still have your period?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
did i just pee glitter
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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