The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
