doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Randomize
