I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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