no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
