If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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