i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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