508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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