sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
