just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
