gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
