I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
