Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize