I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
