They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
