The best revenge is premature balding
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Randomize
