Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
