Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
