God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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