remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize