So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
