Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
