can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
