ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Boobs speak an international language.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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