your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize