My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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