So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
